Generic Korean

Archive for August 2011

The two are back from the army and better than ever.  They were on the most recent episode of Yoo Hee Yeol’s sketchbook and they performed a medley of hip hop songs and they’re still the hilarious duo I remember them to be.  If you don’t know about Dynamic Duo, they used to be in a hip hop group called CB Mass before the third irrelevant member was caught stealing the group’s money.  There were rumors that the dude was in love with Hyori and spent it buying her a car in hopes that he’s get some sexy time with the diva.

Anyways, after all the drama, the two left to form Dynamic Duo and they have given us some great hits.  Gecko, the short one, recently got married (she’s preggers).  He’s a great poet and graphic artist.  I hope both him and Choiza blow up the kpop scene.  We need some more diversity in the mainstream.

The kpop scene is riddled with boybands all touting to fill a specific niche in the market.  You’ve got the beastly ones, the funny ones, the talented one, the cute one, the young ones, etc, etc, etc.  What makes me cringe is when they don suits.  I know its supposed to invoke a sense of maturity and masculinity but I swear they all just look like they belong in a male strip show; especially since in Korea, they equate crotch pumping and self molestation as a sign of maturity.

For example, I was watching 2pm’s “I’m your man” and all I could think was how if this whole fame thing didn’t work out, they’d have a shot at the main stage at Chippendale.

Unless you’re singing a ballad, I don’t really see the point in wearing a business suit for a dance video.  You’re supposed to be a businessman during the day and sexy kpop star at night?  At least Super Junior did it right in “Sorry Sorry.”  I only got slight male stripper vibes from that video.

And to be clear, male strippers are never sexy.  funny, but definitely not sexy:  See young Channing Tatum as a young male stripper wearing gray sock.






First reaction:  “WTF is this bastardization of my people’s food!”

Second reaction two seconds later:  “That looks so delicious.  Why didn’t I think of it first?!”

Recipe here:


A boobie post you say?

So KBS is documenting a girl who has natural H cup breasts.  Man I’m going to get some random google hits for sure now.  Anyways, she goes around all the lingerie shops asking if they have H cup bras and they all respond by saying that the biggest size they have is a C cup.  What in the what?

Korean girls must be mad flat.  Assuming that if I were blindfolded, my hands wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a Korean girl and a table.  I understand that H is rare but C is the biggest size they’ve got?

Japanese porn is all about the naturally huge breasted woman.  I wonder if Korea is going toward that route as well if they haven’t already.  Did you know Korea was the largest consumer of porn in the world.  Yup, be proud my Korean brothers.  Now you can say you are #1 in Starcraft and Porn….*where did I put my face palm photo*

So I was listening to a podcast from artist David Choe and Co. ( and there was a segment where they talked about going to Angkor Wat and whispering their secrets into the hollows of the ancient ruins.  Of course they then argued for several minutes about whether Angkor Wat was in Cambodia, Vietnam or Thailand.  It’s Cambodia.

Anyways, they were alluding to the movie “In the Mood for Love” where in the final scene, Tony Leung travels to the site and whispers a secret into one of the hollows before sealing it with mud.  That entire movie was so freaking great.  I wish I had seen it before I had gone to Cambodia.  There are a lot of secrets I would have liked to tell those walls.

Anyways, the podcasts are hilarious but a bit too long.  I can’t listen to drunken banter for two-three hours, not matter how interesting it is.  They need to edit that crap down to 45 minutes.

All My Love is a daily sitcom on MBC that stars kpop singers like Jo Kwon from 2AM, Gain from the Brown Eyed Girls, Yoon Doojoon from Beast, and Lizzy from After School.  It was supposed to end after a 100 episodes but because of its popularity, the show has been extended to 200.   Actually, I think its more than 2o0 since its on episode 199 at the moment and I don’t see how they are going to wrap up the series in one more episode.

Since the series has gone on for so long, there are several story arches but I will try to summarize:  A penny pinching owner of a hagwon searches for his long lost daughter.  Little does he know that the poor part time employee (Saetbyul) that he treats like trash is his daughter.  An older woman who has twins (Jo Kwon and Gain) tries to get the penny pincher to marry her and manipulates and lies her way in to his heart.  The two get married only the woman finds out that Saetbyul is the man’s daughter.  She hides the truth from her husband until eventually the truth comes out and she is ousted from the man’s home.

At the same time, the penny pincher lives with an assistant who is supposed to help with the business aspects of the hagwon.  Little does the penny pincher know the assistant is plotting to bankrupt him out of revenge.  The penny pincher had ruined the assistant’s father’s business.  During this story line, the assistant played by Jun Tae Soo was in a drunk driving incident which forced him to withdraw from the show.  Since the revenge plot was one of the main story lines, the writers introduced a brother to the show.  The brother takes over as the penny pincher’s assistant.  The housekeeper is also a part of the revenge plot and helps the brother in their revenge plot.

Yoon Doojun is in love with the twin Gain and tries to get her to fall in love with her.  Around the 100 episode mark, Gain’s real contract was over and she needed to move on with other projects so the writer wrote her out of the show.  So the writers make it so that she leaves for the United States on a scholarship and Doojun and Gain say their goodbyes, hoping to reunite at another time.

Back to the woman who was kicked out of the house.  She ends up regretting her decisions and changes her ways.  The penny pincher with the prodding of his daughter allows her and her children back into the home and everything is peachy.

In the more recent story lines, the daughter Saetbyul falls in love with the assistant’s brother.  The brother uses this as leverage for his revenge but ends up falling in love with her as well.  He is so determined to get his revenge that he breaks up with Saetbyul devastating her.  The person who catches her is Doojun who realizes that he is falling in love with her too.  In the most recent episode, Doojun finally reveals his feelings for her.

So yeah, there’s a lot of smaller plots but this is the meat of the 200 plus episodes.  There really isn’t any moral to the story.  Everyone seems to constantly make mistakes and be bitches toward each other and their problems and disagreements are solved in two minutes.  I don’t know why it bothers me so much but the fact that everyone seems so selfish and materialistic and no one learns from their mistakes pisses me off.

The penny pincher treated his daughter like trash until he found out who she was.  It should have made him treat his employees a bit better because isn’t the moral of the story that you should treat everyone with respect?  But he doesn’t.  Even now, he is the same selfish man-child.  Like why have that entire premise of her being a lowly employee that he treats horribly if nothing comes out of it?

Also, the acting is so bad.  The only kpop actor on this show that can slightly pull it off is Lizzy.  The others make me want to run into a wall.  Doojoon isn’t bad either but never once did I think he wasn’t a kpop singer.  A good actor should be able to make me forget who they are as a real person.  Christian Bale has played numerous memorable roles but he’s so good at his craft that when you watch Batman, he forget that he was Patrick Bateman in American Psycho.

So yeah, I don’t know why I keep watching it.  I feel like since I’ve invested so much time with the show, I need to see it through to the end.  It might result in me throwing my laptop out the window but I will finish it gdi.


John Park went and told one of the other 2010 American Idol contestants to go to Korea and become a singer.  Chris Golightly was a part of the top 24 of American Idol before he was unceremonious disqualified for not telling the show that he had previously had a contract.  Dumb move.  It looks like Chris and John are friends and as John became a semi famous singer in Korea, I guess Chris thought he’d try his luck in the Korean market too.

We have to wait another week to see him audition as he was the cliffhanger contestant for episode 3 but I’m going to go ahead and say he doesn’t make it.   I actually remember this kid from John Park’s season of American Idol.  I didn’t know that he was disqualified and replaced with another contestant because white people all look alike to me.  Just Kidding.  I actually didn’t know he was replaced because while his life story was memorable, his audition was a snore.

On another note, Sung Si Kyung totally turns me on in that nerdy hot way.  He’s so intelligent but not in that douchey “I’m smarter than you” way.  Get it SSK.

Episode 3 didn’t have many memorable contestants but I guess I’ll get to writing about it when I get to it.  On another note, at the end of Episode 3 I saw these guys and I swear I’ve seen them somewhere.  Oh man now I’m itching to see the next episode.